Tips For Good Parents – From a ‘Sapiosexual’ Mummy
(Trinidad Express) I was about to kick that toddler out for her screaming and slamming doors. When I look back, a name popped into my head. It took only a few seconds to stop myself from saying, “yay”. It wasn’t a name I knew. Inuit mums have their own unique way of parenting. They nurture their children in a way that leaves a footprint for generations. If you ever went to the Inuit Arctic Circle, you might have realised this for yourself.
Inuit mums aren’t like any other mums. Even if you were to google them and don’t have anything to do with being a mama, you’d know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s hard not to. Can I help you become calmer and more patient with your child? Well, hello, I am an Inuit mom and I have taught my girls to love and to laugh. I don’t want them to have a life where they hide behind someone else. My goal is for them to have a voice and to come forward to tell us when they want to leave or have problems with other people. How do you get there if you have yet to find that voice and to stand up to people when you feel they are harming your little one?
You see, when we are young, we take everything on by ourselves. We put in effort to make the very best of our lives, but being out on the ice with hungry polar bears and the Arctic wind whipping the snow up around us and throwing us up against our snow shoes, we also took it on by ourselves. There were no rules, no parents in the way. That is what also turned us into sad and angry mums because we were alone. It was when we stopped letting ourselves down and were stronger together that we began becoming calmer and less reckless with our children. Here are a few tips from women from another mother tongue:
Start in the kitchen. We were always trained to work from scratch in the kitchen. Being a cook taught us to cook, tell the right time for dinner, shop for groceries, and most importantly, how to always be polite to others. Remember this as you work with your toddler.
Use more positive words. Use plain words instead of things like naughty, idiot, or frustrated instead of our traditional language of silly words. A little tongue-twister or phrase will help as well.
Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself the morning, afternoon and evening reward when you’ve done something right. After a good work of pumping, feeding, changing, singing songs and talking to the baby, give yourself the reward of just being with your little one. Sometimes they can even watch cartoons with you because you already did that job for them.
Have fun. Why cry when they are happy, dance when they are happy, play when they are happy, have chores but the best part of the day is when you see your little one having fun with you?
Lean into your instinct. I remember one morning when my son was two-and-a-half and he woke up screaming at 4 a.m. to go to bed. I picked him up and said that as long as he was not crying when I picked him up, he could sleep until he fell asleep. I believe this idiom will give you a few calm moments. It’s the reason why mums are the best.
Dr Johan Salustjic is a psychologist and medical doctor working in Trinidad. If you have been struggling with your toddler’s mood swings or tantrums, talk to him. You may be relieved and find more information on how to look after your children at www.psychologyone.com.
For more information on Dr Johan, you can visit him on Facebook