Relationships Are Important: How to Balance Work and Your Kids
Relationships are important and, in some cases, they can take precedence over career progression. No-one likes to compromise their career development for a relationship and neglecting this area can cause a ripple effect, according to Lou Anne Krakauer, Ph.D., psychologist, and author of Naturally Attracted to Love.
“Business is an important arena. It’s a strong driving force in our community and even more so in our country,” Krakauer says. “One must not have a fragmented relationship around a career.”
It’s important for parents to hold their children accountable when it comes to their relationships, warns Krakauer. They should set parameters on when, how and with whom they should date.
“It is important to help their kids think a little,” Krakauer says. “However, if their kids have already made dating plans they should be responsible and make time for these plans. It’s important to preserve time for what is dear.”
When parents are present and know exactly where their children are going, how and why, Krakauer says, it greatly impacts the way they treat each other.
“Parents need to pay attention to who and where their kids are spending their time and whether or not this works with their dynamic,” Krakauer says. “Think of it as an evaluation: How well do they get along? How do they react to different conditions? Children are very resilient. But parents must be supportive and let them know that their parenting choices matter.”
Children watch their parents, Krakauer adds. They want to know how a relationship between a parent and a spouse progresses in real-time.
“When children don’t see their parents as romantic partners, it may cause lasting issues,” she says. “It’s important to be realistic and realistic about your relationship. Don’t forget to be physical affectionate with your significant other, but also remember it’s important to maintain a social life too.”
We all learn at different rates, Krakauer says. Children are always evolving, moving from solidity to health to energy. Parents need to work with this new information in mind when building their relationships, whether they are with themselves or their significant others.
“Children are curious about the world around them, which can take your relationship in different directions,” Krakauer says. “We have to figure out how to go forward with a fresh start and give ourselves space to embrace the new adult life that comes with children.”
When it comes to relationships, whether they be between the parents of toddlers or serious relationships between adults, Krakauer says, it is best to be the best therapist possible. It’s important to listen to what your children have to say, even when it’s in the midst of conflict.
“I think it’s important to separate family and work,” Krakauer says. “It’s important to have a job that helps you grow in your life and will help you achieve your career goals.”
Krakauer adds that it’s important for parents to include their children in the decision-making process when it comes to their career.
“Your work is for your family. It’s important to remember to include your kids in the conversation as to what happens at work,” Krakauer says. “They will learn how and why you decide to work. This may mean that you discuss your career issues and ideas with your family, so that it’s not just for you. In general, parents need to respect the decision of their children about their careers. But if their children are just too young, parents should consider the decision of their children on their careers and try to support it.”
With their careers being a priority, parents and their children should find some time to talk about how you see your relationship developing and what you need from each other in order to grow and thrive.
“In the middle of all of this conversation, parents need to honor that they are adults and accept that they’re in charge of their own lives,” Krakauer says. “And, that’s OK.”
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